Boomer's Football Pool

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1:    Our first winner of the 2011/2012 Boomer's Football Pool season is Moomie. As usual, when there is one or two huge upsets, you can count on a woman winning. Hey, maybe that's where the Boomer's Football Pool tagline came from. Weird. Anyway, Moomie wins Week 1 with 103 points and collects $130. Had Denver won, Lisa Thomas would have won and I would have finished in second place. Instead, Oakland won and that continues the streak of my not winning any money, ever.

   As it stands, Stephen Kennedy finishes in second place and wins $40. However, I will be keeping that money as I have not received any money from Eric's side of town. I'm told that everyone at Marix paid Eric, but Eric took everyone's money and spent it on women's clothing for his cross-dressing-guys-night-out night. Although Joe Steimle is upset Eric stole his money, Joe has told me that Eric looked quite breathtaking and he has no regrets about attending.

   Apparently Carol Moore didn't get the memo that Payton Manning was out for 8 weeks because she put 15 on Indianapolis. Oops. Although she wasn't the only person to pick Indy, she did finish last and therefore receives the wrath of Boomer. I have a hint for you, Carol, ESPN.com. Enough said?

   I still need money for the first half of the season from Chris Dietrich, Jason Silvius, and Michael Brady.

   Until next week, confidence must have been at an all-time low at the Hornstein residence.

Boomer: "You win if Oakland wins."
Moomie: "WTF?"
2:    First off, I'd like to thank the academy. They treated me well and conditioned me from a young age into a fine football picker. I'd like to thank my parents, who believed in me when no one else did. And lastly, I'd like to thank everyone that participated this week for picking stupid picks. Without you football illiterates, I'd be down at the bottom of the results table with Eric Seabrook.

   That's right, alert the press, call your Congressman, and pinch yourself. Boomer just won $135 in Boomer's Football Pool. It has been three long, long years and it was totally not worth the wait. However, I am extremely excited about winning $135 and finishing with 125 points out of 136. That right there is what they call "awesomeness."

   Mr. Tyler Colby, dragging on my coat tails, gets second place this week. He only missed two games, 1 less than me, but, like everyone else, had that killer 13 points on the Ravens.

   Carol Moore must be thinking that she is about to get tormented a second time for doing so poorly and finishing last. Luckily, however, she has been spared (some of) that humiliation by Amy P. Remember when I told you that I only missed three games? Well, Amy won only five games! That's not good. You can tell that she didn't play last week and didn't read last week's write-up because she pulled a Carol and put 14 on Indianapolis. So, for a second time, I shall remind everyone that Payton Manning is out for a few months! Amy comes in dead last with 53 points, a staggering 72 points behind me. That is shameful. Carol, you only did four points better than Amy. Perhaps you should start copying off of Everett's picks...

   Just a quick FYI, Lisa Thomas has jumped on the New England bandwagon and asked me to switch her name out from under the Arizona Cardinal's helmet to under the New England helmet. I'm told it might have something to do with her thinking Tom Brady is cute. Begin the ridicule now.

   Until next week, "Oh, well, better luck next time!"
3:    The curse of Boomer's Football Pool strikes again. Show me a week full of upsets, I'll show you a woman winning. Janet Colby wins Week 3 with, all things considered, a very impressive 110 points. She too was bit by the New England, Philadelphia and Arizona games, but survives by having lower numbers on them. Janet wins $140. No congratulations necessary.

   Stephen Kennedy has had a very strong start to the new Boomer's Football Pool season and finishes in second place this week; this coming after finishing second in Week 1 and fourth in Week 2. He is now the leader of the Running Total, but can he keep up this consistency throughout the whole season? My guess is no. But, nonetheless, he has won $80 so far. Of course, I've won $135, so I guess that's not saying too much.

   Here is where I would berate Marisol Mata for finishing in dead last with a measly 63 points. However, given the circumstances of this topsy-turvy week, I have decided to suppress my devilish side and let the pretty angels speak this week. Consider yourself lucky, Marisol.

   Lisa Thomas, after yelling at me on more than one occasion for making fun of her team switch last week, sent me a new email. Here is what she wrote. "Just because the hunk through [sic] 4 interceptions and gave up a HUGE lead... doesn't mean I'm going to be a fair weathered [sic] fan and abandon him." Even though many of us are angry at his dismal week, it looks like Tom Brady has kept a "true" fan in Lisa Thomas.

   Until next week, "Energizer Bunny arrested; charged with battery."
4:    I'd like to start by saying that I was the only one to pick Cincinnati to win this week. A genius football move? I think so. With that, I thought for sure that I had this week sewn up. Much to the contrary, Terry Gemar and Robert Burton decided to put only two and three points on Philadelphia, respectively. I'm still sitting here wondering why they would do such a thing, and then I remembered - I'm only allowed to win once every three years.

   This week went down to the tie-breaker. Robert Burton will be kicking himself trying to figure out how the Manning-less Indianapolis Colts managed to score 17 points. Those 17 points, combined with Tampa Bay's 24 means Terry Gemar was closer to the tie-breaker, and the winner of Week 4 and $140. Terry, in her first season and second week in Boomer's Football Pool will be ecstatic with her new-found fortune. I'm told I will be receiving some kind of thank you donation. What a sweet lady.

   Remember last week when I let Marisol off the hook for finishing in last place? Well, she's gone and done it again. This time, though, she will not be spared. You could say there were two big upsets. The rest of the games were pretty much no-brainers, unless of course your brain is Marisol's. Did you know she was the only one to pick the Colts? Granted, they almost won, but even with that she still would have finished with only 79 points. Marisol now holds the record of finishing dead last two out of three weeks (she didn't play Week 2). That is not an honor you want to hold in Boomer's Football Pool. Marisol, cheat if you must in Week 5, just make sure it isn't off of Eric Seabrook's picks because he is worthless... and ugly.

   We officially have our first side-bet of the season. Stephen Kennedy, in response to my unkind words last week, has wagered $40 that he will finish higher than me in Running Total at the end of the season. Am I nervous? Yes. However, I again finished above him this week, and I have a feeling if he keeps picking San Francisco, he is going to regret it.

   Until next week, "I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers."
5:    Seattle? Really, Amy? You weren't the only one to pick them, but that's only because Matthew Couch is a Seattle fan and he picks them every week, much like you do with Oakland. But why oh why would you pick Seattle? Oh, that's right, because you are a woman. That's right, everyone, yet another woman has won Boomer's Football Pool. That makes it four women and me that have won so far this season. That is just embarrassing. Amy wins $130, a drop of $10 from the previous two weeks after some people missed out this week. I did my part in finding a new player to give us his money every week in Dan "Washbuggy" Washburn, but we missed out on Bret, Carol and Marisol. All of whom better be back next week.

   Second place this week goes to Adam Solomon. Adam, who came to the bar I go to every Sunday and didn't even know who I was, collects his first $40 of the season.

   Eric, Eric, Eric, where to begin. It appears that Eric has given up on the season already. He numbers his points in his much loved retard-style like going top to bottom 1-16, or like he did this week, going from left to right 1-13. A monkey throwing feces at a dart board could more accurately number these games. However, to spare Eric any more humiliation, which I love to do more than anything on this site, I have to let him off easy this week even though he finished last. Eric is spared only because he has informed me that his wife has finally had a baby, although I'm still not convinced Eric is the father. Nonetheless, allow me to welcome Madalynn Seabrook into the world. Congratulation, Eric. Perhaps in a few years she can join all the other woman and win Boomer's Football Pool!

   Stephen Kennedy, upon making our side-bet, has been getting progressively worse. This is going to be the easiest bet I've won since I bet Kelli Bond she couldn't finish a whole bottle of Malibu in one night. I'm pretty sure she is still hung over, but that was the best meal at Ted's ever.

   Until next week, the football Gods have provided us with one of the quotes of the season. Everett Bond and Carol Moore were talking at work today about how Everett had a chance of winning. Everett told her that if Chicago wins, he could win on the tie-breaker. Carol responded in kind.

Carol: "Wow... This will be a good game. I like the lions, though. Their uniforms are a pretty blue."
Everett: "And that is why it is ridiculous when women win the pool."

Right you are, Everett, right you are.
6:    Finally we have a real male winner! Jim T. wins Week 6 with 82 points in an unusually obvious week. Jim takes home 140 cool ones as a consolation to being beaten so bad by my FFL team that he'll be stunned for days. Jim's win means that now I have won, my mom has won, and my dad has won. J.T. Money is next to win, I can feel it!

   Everett Bond finally won some money! He, like me, hadn't won in about three years and was about four weeks away from going to Phoenix and turning tricks on the weekends. For everybody's sake, I'm glad he doesn't have to do that anymore. Instead, Everett has to use his winnings to buy and install hard-wood floors... again. But this time, I'm not helping.

   Carol Moore again has come in last place. I am running out of derogatory things to say to her. This last place thing is becoming too much of a reoccurrence to keep coming up with new ways to make fun of her. Perhaps Everett should give her his $40 in consolation.

   Clearly I'm in Stephen Kennedy's head because he is cracking under the pressure of our side-bet. I again finished above him and now I am the front-runner in Running Total. The problem is, the further behind me he gets, the more he'll try and that just means he'll do even worse. It's a never-ending spiral and it makes me laugh because I get $40 soon. Hehe!

   Until next week, "That’s what I love about these high school girls, man. I keep getting older, they stay the same age."
7:    Yes, that did just happen, Dalles Colby. Baltimore did just lose that unbelievably bad Monday Night game. I, too, share your pain. As for our winner, J.T. Money, he is feeling no pain, except maybe the bulge of money in his back pocket. J.T. Money wins $145 after being the only person to pick Jacksonville. Do not try this at home, kids. Only a moron would pick Jacksonville, and yes, my brother is a moron.

   Dalles, after losing out on first place, was surely hoping for some consolation in winning $40 in second place. But, to rub salt in the wound, he lost out on that to Jason Silvius on the tie-breaker. Combine that with his favorite team, the Arizona Cardinals, losing, I'd say Dalles had a pretty terrible week. As for Jason, he takes home his first winnings of the season – a not-so-terrible week.

   This week, we have a tie for last place. If memory serves me correctly, this is the first time this has happened. Usually, there is one person that is so bad, so decrepit, so dumb, so down-right awful, that I only have to make fun of that one person. Luckily for me, two people get to hear me talk about how dumb they are. Those two people, one of whom is used to it by now, are Michael Brady and Amy P. Both finished on 44 points, a solid 29 points behind the leader. Unfortunately, there are not alone down there. This was a very difficult week and there were quite a few people in the 40s; myself being one of them. So I'll take it easy on the lot of you this week, just to spare myself some shame... until the next paragraph.

   My big head finally got to me. I was walking tall talking about how much better I am at picking than Stephen Kennedy and it caught up to me. I finished with a measly 49 points, 11 points behind Stephen. This restores Stephen to the top of the Running Total board, but he now has many suitors as quite a few people have caught up to the top of the pack.

   Until next week, apparently I'm psychic. "J.T. Money is going to win, I can feel it!"
8:    Well, we've had yet another first in Boomer's Football Pool. Never before have we had three people tie for first place. Jim Gemar (Biff) had the best odds of winning, hands down. He had San Diego to win or even a low-scoring win for Kansas City. Dana Winter had the next best odds, having San Diego to win and a higher combined score than 41. Next came Carol Moore. She needed Kansas City to win and have the score over 47. Then, there was J.T. Money. He had the worst odds of anyone, needing Kansas City to win AND have the score be between 42 and 47. Well, that 5-point gap was all J.T. Money needed to take home $145 for the second week running. Coincidentally, he finished with the same amount of points as last week and won the same amount of money. Can J.T. Money break another record next week by winning three in a row?

   Jim Gemar will be just as stunned as Dalles Colby last week. The only consolation is the $40 prize he wins for finishing second. Jim narrowly beats out Carol Moore for second, after being next closest to the final score for the Monday Night game.

   Everett Bond, for the first time ever, has finished in last place. You guys have no idea how happy this makes me. I told my brother Sunday night after adding up all the scores that I hoped San Diego would lose to Kansas City just so Everett would get last, even though I picked San Diego to win. I've waited 5 long years for this day and it finally happened! Hey, Everett, you got last! That is awesome! Everett decided to send out an email last Wednesday with an edited version of the Running Total in which he was on top. I responded by telling him that he is nowhere near the top, rather near the bottom with Carol Moore. He came back with the wise-crack, "...and we are both nowhere near how bad carol is haha." That's funny, because I just saw Carol finish in third place and you finish in DEAD LAST. Maybe this week, Everett should copy off of Carol. HAHAHAHA!!!

   Stephen Kennedy and I were so engulfed in our side-bet that we failed to realize that there are two potentially, semi intelligent women in the world. Dana Winter and Lisa Thomas have been quietly sticking around the top of the Running Total table, and this week, they have made their move in passing me and Stephen Kennedy. Surely this won't last too much longer...

   Until next week, "We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police."
9:    Boomer's Football Pool has entered bizzaro world. Amy P. wins for the second time this season and I finished dead last. I don't know what's happening in the world, but I don't like it. Amy won due to her crazy picking routine, in which she picks the team that she thinks is going to lose. It works wonders for her, and I might have to give it a try next week. Her picking in the afternoon games was the reason she won, picking Cinci, Giants, Arizona, GB, Balt, and Chicago. No one else was able to pick 5 upsets and win. I guess some people are just lucky.

   Jason Silvius finished in second place again after watching Vick have another worthless game. I feel bad for whoever has him as their QB in FFL... Oh, ya, that's me.

   Yes, I got last for the first time ever. I'm not happy about it and I don't want to talk about it. Leave me alone.

   Yes, getting last place did KILL me in Running Total. I'm not happy about it and I don't want to talk about it. Leave me alone.

   Until next week, Kelli, Everett and I were at a Coyotes hockey game when the following transpired:

Boomer: "Why do some of the referees have orange bands around their arm?"
Everett: "I don't know..."
Kelli: "Maybe they are the away refs."

I'm so happy my mom didn't do drugs when I was in her womb.
10:    Let me start by saying this was by far the hardest week I can remember. If you were like me, you easily found your 16, 15 and 14-point games and then, you were stuck. Everyone knew this was going to be a brutal week when you had to put 10+ on Miami! Anyway, Janet Colby, after picking both Oakland and Arizona to win, wins Week 10. This marks the second time Janet has won this season, tying J.T. Money and Amy P. for most wins this season. Janet walks away with $135 - scratch that - she walks away with $100 after paying for both Dalles and Tyler's remaining balance. That right there is what you call a good mother. You would think that all moms would be this loving and caring... Want to know what my mom gave me when she won back in Week 1? She gave me a, "Yay me! Casino money!" Dalles, Tyler, be thankful your mother is so generous.

   Jim T., almost unbelievably, finishes in second place this week. After the first round of games, he had ripped up his paper and said, "Well, I'm out of it this week." However, he finished a mere two points behind Janet. This marks the second time Jim T. has won money this season after placing first in Week 6.

   Poor Jim Gemar. He keeps picking the Vikings hoping they will pull off a stellar upset like half the teams out there this week. But, I think that was asking a bit too much having them playing away to Green Bay! Not only that, he put 5 points on Minnesota! That is what I call a not-so-smart-upset. Of course, that game meant nothing as he had destroyed his entire week after the first round of games, losing his 15, 14, 11, 10, 9, 7 and 2. There is simply no coming back from a beating like that. Just for the record, I'm being somewhat nice to Jim as I am taking my car to his shop for an oil change and I don't want him to sabotage my brakes or something. Of course, he could always just tell me my "left, center, back, Johnson rod coupling pipe" is broken and it will cost hundreds of dollars to fix. And with my knowledge of cars, I'd probably believe him.

   Unsurprisingly this odd week has upset the Running Total hierarchy. G.S. has dropped back to 10th, while Janet Colby is on the same amount of points as G.S. after having a very consistent last few weeks. Kennedy has been restored to the top, though only by four points. Seven weeks out and there is still no one pulling ahead unlike the last few seasons.

   Until next week, "No, I don’t like you. I think you’re a fake cop. The sound of your piss hitting the urinal, it sounds feminine. If you were in the wild, I would attack you, even if you weren’t in my food chain. I would go out of my way to attack you. If I were a lion and you were a tuna, I would swim out in the middle of the ocean and freaking eat you and then I’d bang your tuna girlfriend."
11:    I hate Eric. Eric is stupid. Eric drinks his own pee. Eric won $130 for finishing in first place this week. Eric loves Joe. Thankfully, Joe doesn't love Eric. Eric went 13 for 14 this week. Eric finally won so he can pay for his expensive baby. I told him to wait until she was on sale, but he had to buy her right away. Eric almost tied Moomie's record of going 100%, but then he didn't. Do you know why? It's because Eric is dumber than my mom - and uglier. Congratulations, Eric.

   Michael Brady has taken second place this week after finishing 5 points behind Eric. This is only the second time Michael has won money in Boomer's Football Pool in almost three years. Let me say that I was rooting for you, Michael to get second. You're welcome.

   D Rod apparently likes giving up his money every week because he always waits until he is either extremely drunk or extremely hung-over to do his picks. It bodes well for the rest of us, but not so much for the D Roddle. He finished in dead last with 67 points. This was clearly an easy week to pick considering Eric got 13 out of 14. D Rod, however, got six out of 14. Of course that is how many Eric usually gets right.

   Stephen Kennedy got 31^st this week. Ha! That puts Dana Winter back on top of Running Total and drops Stephen to second. I would make fun of him more, but he is still ahead of me, so I'll resist for a bit longer. Also, G.S., it's a good thing you chickened out of the re-bet with Eric because dominated you this week.

   Until next week, "He's playing fetch... with my kids... he's treating my kids like they're dogs."
12:    After the easiest, most predictable week in Boomer's Football Pool history - so easy a woman could pick the winners - Nora Trinsey edges out Jason for first place. With only two losses, Nora finishes with 129 points out of 136 grabbing $130 in the process. Nora is no stranger to the top of the table, though, as she finished top-of-the-lot twice last season, raking in $295! Let's all hope that this is the only time she wins this season.

   The aforementioned Jason Silvius narrowly finished behind Nora with 128 points. Had Drew Brees not torn apart the Giants defense, Jason could have won this week, but, it was not to be. The silver lining, though, is this is the third time Jason has finished runner-up, which means he has recouped his money for this season with plenty to spare for the strip club this weekend. Guys night out, let's go!

   Dear Carol,

   Your picks stun me. This was undoubtedly the easiest week known to man and you still managed to finish in last place with a shocking 78 points. The funniest part about that is the two games that most people lost the most points on, you had a combined 8 points on them. That means you lost 50 points on the easy games!

   This was an uninspiring week for any children out there looking up to you as a proud parent, adult and/or football supporter. Tell the children you are sorry for the let-down and strive to better your score next week.

   Love,
   Boomer

   It would appear that there is finally some daylight in the Running Total. Dana Winter, Stephen Kennedy and Jim T. are trying to make it a three-horse race to the Week 17 finish line. I surely hope this is not so for three reasons: one, I want to win the $170 prize at the end of the season, two, I don't want to have to pay Stephen Kennedy the $40 I would owe him if he finishes higher than me, and lastly - the worst-case scenario - I don't want to see Stephen get first place in Running Total AND have to pay him $40. That will just be a big kick in the teeth which I would love to do without.

   Until next week, our quote of the week comes from drunk Everett on Football Sunday. "I'm going to get a beer, let me know if my kicker is gonna kick another touchdown."
13:    There is only one person at the bar on Sundays that I love pissing off more than anyone else. His name is Dalles Colby. He is a raging Cardinals fan - although he told me to put his name under the Packer's helmet - and I am the opposite - a raging anti-Cardinals fan. Rooting for whichever team is playing the Cardinals pisses Dalles off so much that he repeatedly hits me, throws things at me and yells out many, many obscenities throughout the day. However, much out of the ordinary, I found myself rooting for Dalles to win Boomer's Football Pool since it has been a long time since he has won. Don't get me wrong, I still rooted for the Cowboys like there was no tomorrow, but, subliminally, I really wanted Dalles to win. This week, my wish came true and Dalles has won the $125 pot. The icing on the cake this week was seeing Dalles get first, keeping Eric Seabrook from winning again. Come to think of it, I'd rather have Carol Moore win as long as Eric doesn't win. I hate that guy.

   Oh, by the way, if you hadn't figured it out from the first paragraph, Eric "I love men" Seabrook got second place. This adds to his Week 11 winnings of $130. I hope he becomes a victim of identity theft and loses all his money.

   Madre, after having an above average season for someone of her mental capacity has finally finished in last place. I am constantly reminded by Madre how her two goals in Boomer's Football Pool are to finish in the top 10 once and never get last place so she doesn't have to endure the wrath of Boomer. Well, Madre, it looks like one of your goals has gone up in smoke because you sucked this week. You even finished behind Jesse who picked Detroit! Only a really, really dumb person that knows nothing about football, or life in general, would do something so dumb as to finish dead last with 78 points from a possible 136. Perhaps those drugs you did while pregnant with Kelli Bond did some damage to both of your brains. Oh, Carol has told me to tell you, "Ha, ha ha ha ha, ha!" Her words, not mine.

   "It would appear that there is finally some daylight in the Running Total. Dana Winter, Stephen Kennedy and Jim T. are trying to make it a three-horse race to the Week 17 finish line." What kind of a moron would try and call out the winners with - a then - five weeks to go? This guy. Well, I am eating my words this week because the Running Total table has been shuffled and compacted more so than at any other point in the season. Dalles Colby, after his 123-point week has climbed to third place, Adam Solomon has climbed to second place, and Stephen Kennedy and Jim T. have dropped to fourth and fifth place, respectively. With only four weeks to go, this is going to be one crazy finish to the season.

   Until next week, our quote of the week comes from Carol Moore trying to think of something as clever as my degrading letter to her last week. This is all she could come up with.

"Dear Boomer,

I have pulled out all stops and will now unleash the most incredible move to the number 1 spot this football pool has ever seen. See the fury of a scorned woman. No longer will potatoes and cabbages and tomatoes be cast at my head...I will reign supreme...and then see you will be able to do nothing except write a rave review of the most amazing win "by a woman" in boomer football history.

Love, Carol"

Too bad for Carol she finished in 17^th place and is still an insurmountable 349 points back in Running Total. I don't know what kind of pills you are taking for your craziness, but Eric would like you to share.
14:    Jason Silvius has had an incredible second half of the season. He has finished in second place twice and has now finished in first place. In doing so, Jason has taken his season-total winnings to $255. He finished this easy week with 129 point out of 136 and losing only two games. Quickly, I must mention that had Eric Seabrook not put 15 on Miami, he would have won for sure. Just about everyone put either 15 or 16 on Pittsburgh as this was a clear one-sided matchup, but Eric's dumb ass only put four on Pittsburgh and left his 15 for Miami! I realize that people sometimes get carried away with their emotions, but that surely has to take the cake. What an idiot. Anyway, congratulation to Jason Silvius on his $135 week.

   Adam Solomon narrowly came in behind Jason to finish on 128 points and take home the $40 prize. Combine those 128 points to his already impressive drive up the Running Total table, and you will see Adam is the new leader! I must say, I did not see that coming - and neither, I assume, did Dana Winter.

   No prizes for guessing who got last place this week... That's right, our old friend Carol Moore. If you want to have a laugh on your Tuesday morning, have a look at her picks for Week 14. That'll brighten your day right up - especially the Kansas City pick! Let the tomatoes fly at your head once more.

   The Running Total table is in shambles. The people that have been at the top or just below the top are dropping like flies. Adam Solomon is your new leader by 12 points. Dana Winter is in serious danger of dropping all the way down to 5^th place if she's not careful. Dana, what's it like seeing your precious $170-prize slowly fading?

   Until next week, "I wish Google maps had an 'Avoid Ghetto' routing option."
15:    Eric Seabrook wins Week 15 with 95 impressive points. It is hard to be mean to him right now after that brutal week of football where just about every favored team lost. Getting 95 points is well done and I take my hat off to you, Eric. Eric wins $130, taking his season total to $300. That can buy a lot of diapers, and hopefully there will be some left over for his baby as well.

   Derron Spencer has won money for the first time this season since joining Boomer's Football Pool in Week 8. Derron finished in second place, a mere three points behind Eric. Again, well done to Derron for finishing with such a strong score this week.

   Guess who got last place this week? WRONG! Carol did not get last place this week! I can't believe you guys would even think that! As a matter of fact, it was our long-lost last place finisher Amy P. bringing up the rear this week. But, as I've said before, it was an incredibly wacky week and therefore I shall take pity on Amy P. - even though she only managed a frightful 56 points.

   It seems that there are only three people with a real chance of winning the Running Total - although Adam is pulling away at the top. Stephen Kennedy and Dana Winter are not too far behind, though, and will be hoping Adam has a less than impressive last two weeks. That's right, there are only TWO weeks left! And Stephen Kennedy can rest assured, even if he doesn't finish first in Running Total, he will still be getting $40 from me from our side bet. I have conceded the race and would like to say to Stephen, just wait until next year.

   Until next week, "When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome. Then, of course, you spoke."
16:    For the third time this season, the winner has been determined by the tie-breaker. Derek and Kelli both went into Monday night level on points with 114. Kelli, like most women, picks the same number for her tie-breaker every week, no matter who is playing. Derek, void of emotion when it comes to making money, does not do stupid things like that and put a much more reasonable number for his tie-breaker. The Monday night game finished with a combined score of 61. Derek, the smart man that he is, had 58 for his tie-breaker. Compare that to Kelli's 42 and it is not hard to see who is the dominate sex. That's right, Derek wins Week 16 and collects $130. Undoubtedly, the money will be used to pay off a portion of his credit card that he used to spoil Kristine rotten for Christmas. Surely, Derek will be hoping that he can win Week 17 to aid in his debt relief.

   Kelli may not have won $130, but she did make out pretty well this holiday season. She gets $40 for second place and can use the money to buy some pretty bells and pink baskets for her newly acquired motorcycle.

   Jesse has been flirting with last place quite a few times this season and he has finally mustered up the courage to make the leap. Congratulation, Jesse, on finishing in last place. Perhaps you will think better next time you pick Atlanta to upset New Orleans... and put 14 on it! I even had to go back and download his Excel sheet again just to make sure I didn't somehow mess up his picks because I couldn't believe he would put that many points on Atlanta. Maybe we should give Jesse the benefit of the doubt and assume he meant to bold New Orleans and just had a spasm of the arm and the curser moved over Atlanta.

   We'll call the Running Total a 2.5 horse race. Adam and Stephen are both neck and neck coming to the finish line with Dana a few yards back looking at the men's backsides. 13 points is all that separates the top two, with Dana a slightly manageable 20 points back. Focus hard, you three, for this is the final week in Boomer's Football Pool this season!

   I know, I can't believe 16 weeks have come and gone already. It seems like only yesterday that Moomie and I were collecting dollar upon dollar in the first two weeks. But, alas, here it is, Week 17 and it is the last chance many of you have to get back the money you spent. Good luck to all and I'll see you in Week 17!

   Until next week, our quote comes from (not drunk) Everett. Who would have thought he could make so much sense when he was not drinking.

"Here's one thing you can mention on your write up. It's that girls won 4 of the first 5 [weeks], then went in to the kitchen for the holidays and have since lost 8 of the last 11 weeks to the men lol. Week 15 marked the first time guys have had the lead in wins! Oh, but the food was worth it! Thanks ladies lol."

I couldn't have said it any better myself, Everett. Thank you.
17:     It was a very happy holiday season at the Bond house this year. Kelli, finishing in second place last week, and Everett, one-upping her this week by taking first place in the last week of the season, has given them $125 to play with. Add to that Everett's fantasy team winning points in FFL, I guess you could say Everett and Kelli owe Boomer a Dr. Pepper or two this weekend. Everett closes out the fifth year of Boomer's Football Pool with a first place finish with 128 points. Do the math and you will see that Everett missed only 8 points on two games. Well done, Everett!

   G.S. makes a strong finish to the season and gets second place and $40. He will be hoping to add to that tally from the College Bowl Pool where he currently sits in second place.

   Nick Woodruff has had the worst year of his Boomer's Football Pool career. I haven't seen him do so poorly in anything since he bought the gift for our work Christmas party. Nick, who didn't miss a single week, finished in 31^st place in the Running Total. He even finished behind people who had missed a week! To top it all off, he finishes in last place this week with a measly 84 points. That is a whopping 44 points behind our leader, Everett. Perhaps 2012 will be a better year for you, Nick.

   Adam Solomon has seen off the challenge of Stephen Kennedy to claim first place in the Running Total. 17 weeks of superb guessing has left Adam holding the $170 prize. Congratulations to you, Adam and a shout out goes to Stephen Kennedy for making it a close finish. I'm sure Adam was a bit nervous, though, seeing himself finish in 18^th place. Luckily, though, Stephen finished a point behind him, giving Adam a 14-point cushion at the top of the table.

   Perhaps somewhat unsurprisingly, Dana Winter cracked under the pressure of fighting two men for the Running Total crown this year. Dana ended up closing out her historic run by finishing in second-to-last place, dropping her to fifth place overall. That means the top four in Running Total were all men, thereby ending all debate on who is better at sports. Sure, women may get lucky a few weeks out of the year, but the most consistent players are the men. End of story.

   Thank you to everyone that participated this season and I hope you all enjoyed yourselves (except Eric). I hope to see each and every one of you back next season, as well as some new people. I urge you all to do some recruiting in the off season. Ask your friends (unless you don't have any like Eric), ask your neighbors, ask your psychiatrist. One way or another, find some new people to play next season because I would like to win more money!

   Until next week, "I win! You suck! I rule all! Mini-wave in celebration of me!"

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